Winding Down

My 2008 adventure is coming to a close and I am happy. Not because it is ending, but because this year has been wonderful to me. I have learned so much and grown. My true friends have emerged triumphant. New experiences have been conquered and my horizons have been broadened. Life is a Journey and I'm going to live it to the fullest.



Currently Listening to: What Do We Know? - Thousand Foot Krutch


Currently Feeling: Optimistic

The Garden of the Forking Paths

I am a hypocrite. I know this, other people know this, its just a fact of life. But people make me sick for one main reason. They have no reservations. They flaunt everything. They shove everything in your face. They want you to know how great they are. I do it too, it's just a human way, but it makes me sick. Sick of seeing it on a daily basis. Sick of Competing with others for the position I want. It makes me want to do this!!




I DON'T WANT TO KNOW, but I do. I don't want it to happen, but I do.


I can't make up my mind, it goes in so many directions.



Anyways,read this story called the garden of the forking paths. Completely makes sense. The Universe is entwined..... so all the rules like what goes around comes around is true. Just when you make someone elses life miserable, you will eventually end up being that person who you made miserable.


Just gotta be nice sometimes.


"When are we going riding?" Says a sleeping roommate.
"The coolest cop I've ever met." Says a lucky brother.
"I cut my dick while masturbating, I need a bandaid." Says another roommate.


My stomache turns over once again...... Sometimes I wish I had power, but then I think.... How cruel and overbearing would I be? I would stop others from doing the exact things I want to do. We are all a little sick in the head. Just some more than others. I think I range up in the top 15%. With power I would cleanse the world. With power I would be vain. With Power I would become everything I hate in others. Ultimate Power is the most ultimate Corrupting force.




HOLY SHIT ITS 5:30 in the morning. Ugh looks like I'm sleeping in late again :(




Mood - Mental Overload. Shutting down.

That was unexpected.

Well I guess I failed my friend in more than one way. He is no longer seeing his girlfriend and I guess they talk on a minimal basis. He did get a new bike though, which is good.

Been playing Left 4 Dead. Extremely fun game, extremely addictive for the fact that it is completely random so the game is never the same.



Watched Hook yesterday. Wow, I totally forgot how good that movie was. I hadn't seen it for 10 years and seeing it again made me extremely happy. I remembered so many parts of my childhood from that movie, along with thoughts that I had had while watching that movie. Quite possibly my favorite movie of all time. :D





ALmost finished with my English project. Found out I might not actually be failing history of rock, I just have to do the concert reviews.

Wondering what is so funny, and why the o my god...... Justin Timberlake in a leotard....



Disturbing image.


I guess he just has fun with his job.

Cuttlefish are awesome.





OMG LOOK BEHIND YOU!!!



Currently Playing - The Ultimate Gamer Challenge

Failure

I'm sorry my friend i have failed you. Operation Drunkenwing has failed. It's a hard egg to crack, but I am confident it will crack soon, everyone has their screts to tell and who better than the innocent Mr. hmmm??? my eyes still burn from the lightweight throwing shit there. ugh what i go through to secure your position. You're welcome. I have deep love for you and your companion thats the only reason i maintain this status.

The Apocolypse

Famine


Pestilence


War


Death

War, Struggle, Conflict, Chaos.

Mayhem

The Close of the KDM Chapter Draws Near

Well, It was fun while it lasted, but our 6 month adventure is coming to a close. The memories in this house are numerous.
- First Blowout Party
- Cops at Second Party
- Rock Band Rallies
- DAS BOOT! 1:31 1:21 1:10
- Landlord busting up Beerfest
- Placing Second in the Race
- Blowout Fourth of July (Literally) (Cops)
- Won my first game of Texas Hold Em' ($40)
- Fooze Shots
- Three Story Park Adventures
- Stalling for Kyle
- Writing Notes on Broken Tables (#2)
- Halloween Foozeball Failure (Jungle Juice, Jello Shots, and...... Keystone??!?!)
- San Genaro Festival
- Champs of the Table
- Tailgates

Experiences I won't quickly forget about.

Man I'm almost getting choked up thinking about how close this chapter of my life is to being over :(

I have learned a lot from this house. I'm Going to miss it greatly.....



Mood - Down

Music - Muse - Time is Running out

Ugh.... It's too early.

Ok normally I do all my writing when I'm at school or late at night, but right now I'm writing cuz my roommate woke me up and told me I was going to be late for work. I glance at the clock and its like 45 after so I'm rushing like hell, leaving items of comfort and fighting the hungover urge to go back to sleep.


Well I get to work to find out that I'm an hour early....

I'm not really pissed at my roommate, more just pissed at the situation. This definitely wouldn't be as bad if I wasn't hungover. Ugh.


I need to find a girl.

Resistance is Futile

My mind keeps slipping into negative thoughts and I can't help it. Autumn told me to not let it bother me, to control it, but how do you control something that you don't even know is happening until it is already there? Difficult? Very. Impossible? Probably not.

I just don't want to work to block it out. I just want to have the automatic ability to do so. Kinda like a pop-up blocker in my head. lol



Almost time for my next class. We don't do anything in it, but I really don't want to go.... dunno why, I was in such a good mood earlier and it just went to hell now. Damn mood swings.



It's probably all those energy drinks I've had, but whatever they taste good so pah on that.

I want to get away so bad, but with my Reno vacation, I think I am expecting too much from it. It should just be a way to see old friends and have a brief break from work and school, but I think I'm making it into a great big party in my head lol. Dunno maybe cuz I've heard my brother's stories of what he did in Reno and I expect it to be the same way.

No dreams lately, at least none worth writing down.

No more journeys into my head, I think that's over completely. so I might as well round that blog off.... well I guess I'm putting dreams into it now. A mixture of my concoctions.

Guess I'll have Kyle's friend over and drink and smoke hookah or something, don't really have anything else going on and alcohol is a great way to get to know someone. Well in my case, it's normally a bad thing when I get to know people..... Cuz soon everyone xpects more. If you know what I mean..... and I'm not complaining about that, but.... It has gotten me into a little bit of trouble lately. Drunkeness is a blessing and a curse for me... it's so much fun, but shit always seems to go from bad to worse.

Can't wait to have another bar night though. The pictures and memories (or lack thereof) are always good times.

Maybe I'll clean my room today cuz it kinda looks something like this:


and that's a terrible thing when you are meeting people for the first time and you take them on the tour and it looks like that.

Beat Age of Empires III (just a sidenote.)

still training for that marathon.... need to up mileage though.



Other than that.... nothing is going on. Going to try to go to the football game this Saturday, work sucks, school sucks. blah. I'm bored with the days. I need something exciting to happen.

Current Mood - Bored



Currently Listening to - Still no Ipod or headphones for school :(

Back to the School Postings

Sitting in the library. Suprisingly not on the second floor today like normal. Wishing I had something to drink like this.



So I could eat my delicious looking breadsticks.




mmmm doesn't that just make you salivate??

Anyways I'm sitting here, bored as hell, waiting for my next class, fantasizing about my run later today. Yes, I actually can't wait to go running. I've gotten to the point where I enjoy running, for several reasons.
1) It clears my mind and lets me think about totally random things.
2) It keeps me in shape and gets rid of the pudge I've been developing.
3) It gets my roommates to stfu about telling me to go work out.
4) It gets me that much closer to accomplishing my goal of running a marathon this winter.
5) The ladies love it ;)
6) When buff guys talk shit I tell them I'll race them in a 5k haha
7) It makes me feel superior to other people, thus making me feel less helpless :D


yeaaaaaaaaaaaa lets see if they have any pictures of me running on the internet.
nope, but I guess this'll do.



Working out has been going well too, been going for like 2 weeks now shooting for my goal of 200 for bench, yes I know its lame, but running and working out kinda counterbalance each other so stfu. Plus I haven't been working out consistantly for very long so I am pretty damn weak. Anyways, by the end of the month I shall let you know if I accomplished the 200lbs goal.



Yea that's what I look like, lol.

O and coming up on another goal of the six-pack. Still more like a three pack since I can't get the middle line, but I am pretty damn determined. Too bad I can't control what I eat lol. No willpower in that department.


*ten minutes later*
Went on a tangent into the internet found this picture. Liked it so much I figured I'd put it on here.



O well I guess I'll sign off for now, I was going to write a story, but forgot it when I logged out of my mind and went into random searching mode.

Mood - Spaced Out



Currently Listing to - NOTHING :(

Jarhead

They say movies are meant to stir emotions in their audiences. Be able to have the audience relate to the movie, to feel like they are there. Well, Jarhead hit the nail on the head. It made me wonder, what the hell am I doing with my life, with the precious time I have on this Earth? My answer right now is I'm pissing it all away.

I feel so alone. I have wonderful friends and family, but I feel like I'm missing a huge component of my life.

I feel like I'm going to cry.

I feel like I am going to puke, I feel disgusted with myself.

I'm angry.

I'm depressed.

I'm struggling to regain control.

I feel so pathetic.
So helpless.
so worthless.
so tiny.
meaningless.
Like nothing I say or do matters.

What is the point of life?

mood - overwhelmed


No music fits this situation. Only silence.

Chances

Here I was planning on going to be 2 hours ago and now I am going to some kickback with Kyle. I wasn't even considering it, but then i thought to myself, It's the opportunities that you don't take that come back to haunt you so now I'm off. Gotta Iron my shirt and throw some cologne on. pah, this better be as good as Adam is making it out to be.


gah, work tomorrow is going to suck.



Work on Sunday is going to be worse.


then school on monday....


ugh man I hate this crap sometimes.

A restless night

Tonight.... I am very bored. I already hit the gym and went for a run, played minesweeper, downloaded some music, made some food, cleaned some dishes, thought very hard about cleaning my room, thought very hard about doing laundry, and now i'm here. I'll probably just hit the sack after this. My plans, well what little I did have, fell through, so now i sit here talking to whoever will listen.


Currently Listening - Fallen Leaves by Billy Talent


Bah I guess I'll just go to bed now.

Mood - Tired

Its been a while......

A lot has changed since the last time I wrote. I'm not the same person I was before. My innocence is more destroyed than ever and my mind is constantly clouded with angry and depressing thoughts.

Let's start things off slow. no longer casual.... i guess, haven't really tried... don't really want too. alright enough with the enigma. worked a lot of concerts in the past month including Daughtry and SLash. Conquered Das Boot, Twice, with times of 1:31 and 1:21. been drinking a LOT lately.... Beerfest got broken up by our landlord and he said he was going to evict us, but his problem was he lost our contract so that didn't happen. Went on an emotional rollercoaster.... Kristin at the source of it all. Staked out a house with my bud Kyle, amounted to nothing. Operation Catspin Failed.

Started to love iced tea... but ran out.

Started to get depressed again, Went on Operation Kegdrop, which was a success. Also Lost a bet playing fooseball and had to go streaking because of it. got my new computer running, and Kyle went to New Jersey for a week. Kristin broke up with her boyfriend and we started talking seriously again. That didn't last long because five days afterwards Kristin and her friend came over and we started drinking like we always do. Except this time Kris passed out early and me and her friend kept drinking. We decided we'd play strip poker and it all went downhill from there. kris found out, things went to hell, and then I found out a shitload that I didn't really want to know. Comes out she was lying to me all this time. sucks, but i guess its better to know the truth than to live in ignorance all your life. Don't know if things will ever heal up between us.

Watched Mind Game the movie.... epic.

well that sums everything up in a nutshell. Good night. Work tomorrow :(

mood - blank



no music today

Second Place

I've always liked silver...


That's all I have to say about that.


Cops came to our last party. Warned us about the noise. Land Lord found out. Whoop dee do da.



Gotta watch out for the newbie rising up. He's good, but I have to put him back in his place.


The Fourth is coming up, still haven't decided what I'm doing with that....


Maybe numero tres.... maybe.... its a little bit of a BIG feat for me, but we'll see.

alright well 3 in the morning and I have work at 9 soooooo i'm off

Mood - Tired

no music today :(

Shaved Legs and Scrambled Eggs

Ate Ihop. Yea. Bad day. Got no sleep last night because I was with some friends. Took a long drive to Pahrump and got pulled over and ticketed by the Highway patrol. first ticket.... can you believe that?



got a decent workout in. yeaaaa....


need to cut my hair... shaved my legs... Don't know why..... took forever.

Have work tomorrow so probably should be getting to bed. Lets do that actually.... good night.



Mood - Morose



Currently Listening: Standing in the Rain - Billy Talent

Times are Changing

Well, a lot has changed since the last time I have written. Moved out and am living with two roommates. Life is good.

Still nothing.

Everything is connected.
Ripple Effect style.

My computer has been annoying the shit outa me with its random freeze ups >:O

Still working for shit money, and still not making tips. :(


Current Mood - Tired


Currently listening to - Everytime we touch by Cascada

The Epic 7 Page Paper.

*First Attempt on paper* Failed 12:00 P.M.

So I have to write a freaking 7 page paper, by 4 o clock today and I've only written 6 pages so far..... damn.... I started today with 2 pages written... but damn i can't think of anything else to write.


so instead of writing my wonderful paper, i'll post pictures :D

This picture makes me laugh every time.




*Second Attempt on Paper* Failed. 2:43 P.M.
So I finished... um like half a page in 2 hours..... wtf else can i write?!?!

*Third attempt on Paper* Success. 3:43 P.M.
Woot finally done with this piece of crap paper.... but no time... gotta go turn it in!!!

stuff

SO I had my birthday yesterday and it was pretty cool. Could've been better, could've been much worse.

Very tired so I'll keep this short.

Going to meet up tomorrow.

SHould be fun.


lots of problems. hoepfully can be solved.


time for sleep.... shit got a lot of work to do gah......


whatev

good night

The Trojan Suit

I just watched a video on a new suit that was sold called the Torjan suit. It was a full armor exoskeleton that had all these neat little gadgets and stuff.


pretty cool.




Other than that, pretty uneventful day......

Tirehtoori - Turmion Katilot


Current mood - inventive

Apocolypse.... Now?

So yea there was like a fire drill in my colleges library today and it just made me wonder what would happen if it was like a bomb threat that turned out to be real.



Like maybe an invasion occured and we had to defend ourselves since most of the military is off elsewhere fighting a war.




I think I'd be screwed.


hmmm and now some student is walking around cleaning the computers..... I never knew they had students do some of the work that they do around here lol



mood - excited



Currently listening to NOTHING :( (forgot my headsets)


O yea I also noticed that there is an unusual amount of planes flying over the school today.... like one right now too!!

at least 20 have passed already in like a 30 minute period.